We sent our top investigative reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Fernstein to talk to Pinocchio and find out the secret to being really incredibly good-looking.
How big's your nose?
If I'm in a fibbing mood, it's about 10cm long.
What's it made from?
Balsa wood and lies.
What are your favourite songs?
Knock on Wood by David Bowie, Norwegian Wood by The Beatles and anything by Fleetwood Mac, Woody Guthrie or Timbaland.
What do you never leave home without?
A hanky and my Romper Stompers (sneakers).
What's your favourite food?
I always pine for chips.
What are your favourite wood jokes?
I'm the coolest twig in school.
I'm so board. I really wish someone funny wood come along.
I really need to branch out with my puns.
Now that Justin Bieber is an adult, who's the biggest child pop star out there?
Clearly it wood have to be me.
Thank you for your time, Pinocchio.
No, plank you!
Pinocchio, 11 Apr - 4 May 2014, Drama Theatre, Sydney Opera House